I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
