The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
