dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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