I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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