I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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