His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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