Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I currently don't understand fingers.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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