You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
