Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
