Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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