I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
