You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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