You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
