any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
