doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
