if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
