it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
third nipple confirmed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
