am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
