How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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