Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
