just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
