belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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