My cat gives me a boner
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
