I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No...this little piggys going to the bar
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
