GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
