haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I currently don't understand fingers.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
