sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
