do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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