All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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