Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
