She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
