ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
