you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
