I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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