What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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