You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
