he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The air was thick with penises
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
