Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
cat food counts as protein by the way
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i need some magic done to my vagina
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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