Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
