im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have tasted many bathrooms
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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