Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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