Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
