wrigley field is MILF paradise
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
