the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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