their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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