I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize