New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
