I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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