I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
