i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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