That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
