Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
