so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
