Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
