5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize