Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
