we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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