Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
