it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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