At least make sure they are 18
Why
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
When are your genitals available?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
