Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
