ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She bit a glass in half.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
