Already got asked if we're dating
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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