Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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