Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
