You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
