Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
there's paper in my vomit.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
